I have decided that this year’s theme song is Eye of the Tiger by Survivor, and here’s why:
First week of college: done.
Making new friends: done/in progress.
Copious amounts of coffee: done.
First time riding the bus alone: done and proud!
First time trying pho: done and it was alright, sorry those of you who swear by it.
This weekend’s homework: definitely not done.
I have officially survived my first week of college. It’s been a big jumbled mess of fun, stress, excitement, sleep deprivation, bounteous amounts of coffee, mispronouncing French words, memorizing a plethora of names and faces, and a whole lot of walking. And I couldn’t be more thankful for it.
College has turned out to be a breath of fresh air. Coming in, I was doing a little bit of running. Not physical running, mind you. Ha, that’s hilarious, me running. As if! No, I mean running from broken relationships and horrid endings. I expected college to make things worse, adding stress to my already severed nerves. I was scared I would make friends and things would end the same way they did in Kansas. (PS, most of you reading this are not who I am talking about. Nevertheless, I’m not naming or aging anyone because I refuse to make my blog into one of those blogs, the one’s that rant about their entire lives and you become a little scared of them in real life because the angst is so strong. No, don’t let me go there, dear readers; don’t allow me to harbor and feed my bitterness with pretty words.) Anyway, I overanalyzed the coming friendships and feared their coming demise.
But college was so different. So refreshing and so new. I needed it.
Don’t get me wrong, those broken friendships were definitely not the only reason I left Kansas for gorgeous Seattle. Heck, they were barely that high on the list of pros for moving. I mean, I’m in freaking Seattle at an amazing school studying to achieve my dream of becoming a successful author. That was more than enough incentive to leave, not to mention the fact that coffee is literally everywhere, but running from my pain helped the transition. I hated the way things had ended and I hated even more that the people who’d hurt me either had no idea or were just extremely spiteful. It took the first week of school, late night talks, a ton of Olan Rogers videos, and “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor on repeat for me to realize something that is so freaking obvious: “Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past. You must fight just to keep them alive.” (Ps, that’s a line from the song)
SPU really helped me understand that I can’t allow my dreams to be hurt or even destroyed by a few crappy people that aren’t very good at the whole relationship-is-a-two-way-street thing. It’s not fair to me to waste my time in anger and resentment at situations that are over now. I can’t be focused on what I would say if they ever tried to snow me again. I refuse to hold onto something that is obviously long gone. That’s called insanity, and is frowned upon in most work environments (Ps again, I need a job and I can’t be all wacked out on bitterness-juice). If I want my new friendships to work, I can’t keep comparing them to the people who have hurt me in the past.
So I kept listening to Eye of the Tiger (I’m in the process of memorizing the words) and tried to work through how to let people and the crap they shoved down my throat go.
A few nights ago, my hall floor had their annual tradition. We walked down to Gas Works Park, prayed together, and symbolically let go of the things that could hinder our growth during the first year of school. We talked about our fears and angers, wrote them down on lanterns, then sent them out into the sky. It was a little cheesy, but also beautiful, seeing so many girls come together to help each other through past hurt and regret. It was a fresh start.
All the girls clapped and screamed every time a lantern floated up into the sky, and even when some of them fell straight into the water, encouragements like “It’s okay, it’s symbolic of Jesus ‘washing’ us clean!!” were shouted out. Everyone was so happy and loving.
This is Moyer 3rd Floor tradition. After that night, I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders. I finally felt like I could begin to really let go of my past and focus on my future. It’s college, for crying out loud! NO ONE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS WITH THE GIRL WHO STILL TALKS ABOUT HER PAST. So in this next chapter of my life, I’m letting go. I’m investing in those who reciprocate. I’m falling in love with personalities and stories and new beginnings. It’s funny the little things that can make your day and simply being in college has placed me on a path to figure out who I am, what I want, and what God’s plan for my life is. It’s new and different, but good.
So this is why Eye of the Tiger has become my theme song for the year, plus it’s a freaking awesome song that is literally the best song to wake up to. Plus again, I can hit all the really high notes, and I’m intensely proud of that fact. My roommates are probably sick of it by now, I think I play it at least once a day, but it’s my motto and I’m sticking with it.
Keep me in prayer! Stay sweet, eat a slice, and paw a craft single!