I am so beyond happy right now, I can barely walk without bouncing or skipping. I just keep feeling this rush of joy surge through my heart at the smallest instances. Someone will smile at me and I have to resist the urge to run up and hug them and cry and laugh and sing about God’s great love for us.
God, I don’t pretend to understand the amount of love you have for me, day in and day out, so I cannot pretend that I love you back sufficiently. I can’t thank you enough for pulling me out of the mud, washing me off, and clothing in me in honor and glory. I am eternally in your debt, my life and all my desires and hopes and loves belong to you God! You are far greater than anything my heart can imagine and you meet me where I am. Why do you love me so much? I’m so small and yet you’ve stolen my heart and I can’t pretend it’s enough for you. I wish I could express my love; my words are trash. You love so largely and so immensely and so fully, how can I return? God, you are so mighty in my life, in all of creation! Bless those who fall down and worship you and turn the hearts of those who don’t. Don’t let my love be dimmed by the reactions and expectations of this world. Your kingdom is not of this world! We are called to represent it; to live out the Kingdom of God here on earth in expectation of the one to come! You have blessed me more than I deserve and I can never repay you. Allow me to never forget what you have done for me when I whine about what I want. You know the desires of my heart and you know what is best for me. Allow me to never, ever forget that! Take from me that which would deter from my love for You!!! YOU ARE GOD! HALLELUJAH!! As I sit here typing, trying to find words, my hands shake in joy and my heart beats quickly in wonder and my mind moves faster than my fingers. Everything you have ever done has been out of love for your creation, your beautifully broken creation. And though we constantly place our hearts into the hands of then enemy and other loves, still you open your hands out of us, calling us back. How long can we ignore you? You are too great and too wonderful to be ignored, yet you love us still! God, forgive us, forgive your wicked and adulterous lovers! Our minds are too small and our patience too thin, teach us to love as you love! Only then can we come to you in full! You gave us the example, through your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord! And yet we mock and run and hide behind theories and facts, never once batting an eye as we spit in your face. Love us, Oh God, though we deserve hell! We deserve nothing less than to die on the cross, our sins bare before you, and for you to turn your back on our wicked ways.
But you don’t! How could you? Your love for us is too great! You are a gracious God, where does your grace end? Our hearts cannot understand the weight of your grace and love and yet, every day, we take advantage of it. We slander your name. Forgive us God! Teach us to love, God! We shall perish without You! I love you and I thank you, with all my heart! I never want this feeling of intense joy to leave me, never let me forget what you have done for me! I used to think of this joy as a high that will fade with time, but You are new every day! How could I forget my love for you, when you do nothing but surprise me of it daily? When you awaken me with passion and life for the smallest things? When you show your love by sending the rain and sun and moon and stars? By allowing our world to go on turning, by giving us one more chance to run to you? You love us so much, how can we repay you? You are so good, God!!!! Words will never, ever do you justice!